*DO NOT* expect this movie to scare you. At your own risk of disappointment. Heed my warning. I am writing this to FULLY PREPARE you of how exquisitely cheesy this movie instead is. One of the cheesiest movies I have EVER seen. I'm talking laugh out loud. The word "Cheese-Tastic" literally appeared vividly and sparkling in my mind while watching this third act and beyond. It's almost on the so-bad-its-good made-for-tv-80s-movie level of bad. Almost. (And I LOVE the 80s). I was lit up with inner glee at how bad it was. Seeing a franchise that's taken so seriously fall so hard face first in to a bucket of cheese is a treasure to behold. That was what was astonishing about it, and why It was a surprisingly guilty pleasure. I felt compelled to write this review due to that process. However, that's not to say the film doesn't fall short. it certainly does. But I saw it with a glass half full attitude in order to save this dreadful experience.I am alarmed by how the marketing did not suggest such a cheesy film, but instead a brooding, serious, & terrifying one. Very far off the mark. I used to be unable to tell if I liked these "Warren" Family inspired movies or not. Now I understand I do and for all the wrong reasons. It's quite clear and obvious that these movies are made to troll their audience. Period. End of story.This time, the cheese, is slathered on so thick it's incredibly hard to miss if it wasn't already. Only, I can't tell if they were trying to be serious or not. It would appear they are. Horror movies are usually supposed to send a wave of chills down your spine and then you know damn well a creepy scene was effective. Not once did this film ever achieve that and it actually seemed like it was intentional that it didn't want to.If you want a "scary" movie this is not the film to pay for in theaters, you've found the wrong film for that. If you want a hokey nonsensical religious fantasy you came to the right place. If they exposed how cheesy it was in the trailers, people would not have shown up to see it, and that's where the marketing was a brilliant sham. They are laughing to the bank and it was easy money. I have never seen a film dupe with their marketing as hard as this one. I got to see it for free and my expectations were so low that I still managed to enjoy the experience though. The only reason due to a morbid fascination with bad horror movies, and this one turned out to be a crowned queen. The cheap jump-scares were more funny than anything. and hardly effective again after the first cheap and premature one. This was made to be a "fun" kind of horror movie, akin to films like 'Drag Me To Hell'. Unintentional comedy. This did not seem scary nor serious. The writing was very immature. Now for the spoilers. During the "scary" action of the third act our fearless nun-in-training halts all horror chaos, to get her vows of nunhood prayed upon momentarily, as a way to become a real nun, and complete her nun training. Meanwhile chaos lurks around them but no, let her nunhood thrive.Apparently, being french-canadian is a demonic safe word and can inflict nun damage. The whole fragile plot was held together by a special vial of Jesus Christ's own blood. It looks like a christmas ornament. and spitting it's blood on the nuns face is the straw that stops her. At another hilarious moment a demon licks a priest with a wildly large, fast, bendy, snake-like CGI tongue. People were wincing with awkward giggles through out the theater and not for ANY of the right reasons. The cgi demon tongue action literally came out of nowhere. and no the visuals are not as cool as they sound.It was so silly and cheesy that I'm glad I saw it with my own eyes. But do not in any way shape or form expect this movie to be scary or a serious venture. They were trolling HARD. Don't pay for this in theaters unless you are fully prepared for a comedy.
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